April 25, 2009

Detroit Rock City

Good times, and welcome back!

As we're now mere moments away from the 2009 NFL draft, I'm going to venture into territory that is probably bound to bring me serious flack from friends, and perhaps family, but bear with me. Additionally, I don't know how exactly this is going to work out, but I have legal backing from a sports authority, so I feel confident I can make this happen. I am attempting to turn myself into a Detroit Lions fan. Now, I know some may call me a sports bigamist for chasing this dream, so I can cite precedent: ESPN's Bill Simmons lays out the groundwork in his 2002 column, Rules for Being a True Fan:

Rule 19, bullet-point 2: You grew up in a city that didn't field a team for a specific sport -- so you picked a random team -- and then either a.) your city landed a team, or b.) you moved to a city that fielded a team for that specific sport.

Okay, my reasoning/thinking (if you can call it that):

I didn't grow up near a professional team. When I was a kid in Knoxville, I didn't have a "favorite" team other than the Bills, and I don't really have a good reason why. I was always logo-oriented as a lad, and would root for some teams simply because they had a cool freaking lightning bolt on their helmet, or I could semi-accurately draw the classic red bison that seemed so imposing. Admittedly, I probably did bandwagon jump the Bills when they made their first Super Bowl run in 1989/1990 before falling to the Giants, but I've stuck with them to wavering degrees ever since, even when my aunt was calling them the Buffalo "Puff-Tuffs", nearly bringing me to tears.

The Oilers moved from Houston to Nashville when I was a junior in high school, living about an hour away. After high school, I moved back to Knoxville for college, where I pretty much only followed the Vols and Peyton Manning's career. By the way, he did complete that pass, thanks to his laser-rocket arm. And how are those amazing Florida quarterbacks doing now? Shane Matthews? Danny "The Awful Waffle" Wuerffel? Chris Leak? Rex Grossman? And before you Gator fans start (not that you can read this blog): Peyton, Todd Helton, Andy Kelly. One Super Bowl MVP, a first baseman who flirted with .400 multiple times, and the greatest Arena League quarterback
ever. But I digress.

By my count, I lived two years with the Titans before ending in Chicago. Now, I never really had any desire to be a Bears fan, and never made an attempt. Nothing against Da Bears, but I just couldn't follow a team knowing I was destined to leave the town.

Things going in my favor:

The Lions were 0-16 last year. So I can't be called a bandwagon
fan. But no matter the not-so-current
state of affairs, the team has a great
history. And great potential. I'll be living in the Detroit metro area. And most importantly, I want a hometown NFL team to cheer for. But to all my fellow Preds fans, get this right: I will NEVER cheer for the Red Wings, though. THAT ain't gonna happen. Seeing as I'll be living in Detroit for the rest of my foreseeable future, I figure I'll need a local team to root for, and the Lions are the best bet. I've got my baseball team, and my hockey team, so football's the way to go. Plus, I can get my lumps in early.

Here's your title track:

Detroit Rock City by KISS

And for your semi-relevant, blog-closing Simpsons quote:

Homer: Aw ... The Denver Broncos !?!
Marge: I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good.
Homer: Yeah, yeah.
Marge: Well, explain to me why it isn't.
Homer: You just don't understand football, Marge.

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